Kancolle Whatever by Northernhell

Heroes of Kancolle Winter 2017 Event

So this Winter 2017 boat event was pretty easy overall. Yea, not much to say about this one this time, fairly manageable and the rewards decent for what I had to go through. Still bullshit, but tolerable. With a total of 3 maps I can’t really complain, I just wish that all events were on this scale so that I don’t have to go partly insane trying to clear the maps. I cleared E1 on hard, E2 on medium and E3 on easy. Heh. I suppose alot of people ended up doing that considering that the rewards just weren’t that good other that the new boats so yea, no regrets there. E1 was super easy if you had subs, just cheese that shit and your done, almost no resources or buckets wasted. E2 however was starting to get bullshit, alot of buckets, patience and luck was spent on this map for last dance because the shit changed your route and made it so you had to go an extra 1 or 2 nodes before getting to boss meaning weaker boats. Bullshit artificial difficulty. Hard enough as it is, developers just want to make it even more rng element. E3 honestly wasn’t that bad at all, sub part clear easy to transport saiun shit plane and then go to boss using a… SURFACE TASK FORCE COMBINED FLEET. ABOUT FUCKING TIME. FUCK. FOR ONCE SHIT FLASH GAME IS NOT CARRIER AND PLANE COLLECTION. FUCK YEA. So yes, I ruined those gay yuri aviation battleships, did the debuff and shit, full on land air base fuckfest from the sky bomber that shit is what i’m talking about. Got a bit stuck on last dance a bit, luck did them in so yea whatever. After got my I-14, farmed that shit even more for lewd sister sub, I-13, got that shit. Done. Yea Boi.

Here are the heroes of our time, the boat waifus that did their shit and didn’t annoy or fail me.

9. All Subs (but mainly Ro-500)

This event for once had sub maps. Holy shit this is the first time I think I actually used subs in a boat event. Holy shit. And you know what? Shit’s dope. OP biatches. Hope they do more sub maps in the future so I can cheese everything. My highest leveled sub is Ro-500 so ye, image not reflective of her power or loli strength. All subs did their shit for E1 and E3 transport. Good shit.

8. Shigure/Yukikaze

These high luck bitches are dank as fuck when it comes to torpedo cut-ins at night, shit that I need for E2 AND E3 bosses. Yea, run that shit with cut in setup. While shigure has appeared alot on these lists in previous events I think this is the first time for beaver. Yay. You have some use to me beaver girl.

7. Taigei/Ryoujou

What the fuck? Light carriers actually didn’t’ fail me for once? Holy shit wow. E3. That’s all it was. E3. All these light carrier boats had to do was provide decent AA firepower for the boss and pre-air battle nodes, and they did the job good enough. I survived and beat that shit so they deserve some credit for not fucking up all the time and getting hit in the red first in every damn sortie I did in previous events. First appearance of whale so yea, good shit.

6. Prinz

Aryan race superior German engineering boat waifu did her shit well. Got lots of good shots and didn’t fail me once at all, totally reliable and not shit. A staple of winning admirals. If you don’t have Prinz then you suck, make it your priority next time.

5. Maya

Goddess of AA cut-in returns in all her glory. Even more so after that update which allowed AA guns to be equipped to that extra slot which normally was for shit reuseable items and food. Now we are talking about double attack Maya with AA cut-in power. Fuck yea, good boats just getting better. Equip that Iowa AA gun and have no regrets motherfucker.

4. Italia

Holy shit Littorio/Italia makes her first appearance on a heroes of our time list. HOLY SHIT. FOR ONCE FAST BATTLESHIPS ARE NEEDED IN THIS EVENT. Aww yeaa. Eat that pasta my big boob Italian boat, your inherit design is awesome too bad your official art style is kinda shit in mai opinion. Ah-well.  Battleships 4 lyfe.

3. Kongou/Haruna

Oh Shit. Famous boats everywhere, I just can’t contain the waifu potential throughout this event. Kongou AND Haruna was used in this event? OH YES. FAST BATTLESHIPS TO THE RESCUE MOTHERFUCKER. Finally I get to have a good reason to use these girls since their accuracy and hit bonus are good in surface combined fleet. Symmetrical docking? Yes please.
2. Iowa

It’s probably a crime that Iowa is categorized as a fast battleship, cuz shit she is so OP strong it’s not even funny. Rivaling power of Nagato and friends Iowa owned those bad guy boats so hard, shit’s nothing left of them. I think during all the runs I did she only got hit in the red like once, ONCE, shit’s pretty durable I must say. I used her alot as the leader for the surface combined fleet but yea, solid excellent performer for this event. However, the top rank for hero of our time must be given to…

1. Kitakami

Fuck. This bitch again?  Yea, I heard yea. You can’t avoid it, Kitakami-sama is a God. God of damage that’s what. Pre-emp torpedoes, final boss kill during E3 last dance? Yea, I suppose she does deserve the win again. Congratulations Kitakami, you are the Hero of our Time; once again illustrating how broken torpedoes cruisers are in kancolle and how Abukuma is the worst thing to happen to break the game and effectively make all light cruisers that don’t have 4 slots effectively useless.

Honorable mentions: Some other destroyers, Suzuya/Tone, Ooi, Ducks, Abukuma, expedition support fleet ships = they all did what they were supposed to but didn’t shine like they normally would. Too bad.

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